Its not all that hard to produce good BBQ. Books and recipes have been published for years with concrete, specific directions, but there are really just a few guidelines to follow and concepts to grasp, and then the recipe is 'season to taste, cook 'til done."
You need a covered grill to cook BBQ. Within reason, bigger is better, but its not necessary to have a custom catering rig. The grill I use for everything from 6 pieces of chicken to parties for 600 measures 6'X4' at the grill (steel mesh), and the grill is approx 2 feet from the fire. Of course, you may want something smaller. For smaller grills, I find that the trusty sideways 55 gallon drum works remarkably well if you can find one that seals well. If that's still too big for your needs, I've gotten good results from the "Mr. Meat Smoker" type grills.
You'll also need to have a supply of heavy duty tin foil, tongs, some large hot pads or clean work gloves, a meat thermometer, beer, and a small hoe or rake to move the coals around if necessary.
An all wood charcoal is a must. Most commercial brands mix actual coal in with the wood to produce a more regulated burn, but this coal will overdarken your meat and leave a noticeable taste to educated palates. In the Mid-South I recommend using Holland Hickory charcoal, but most areas should have some sort of "chunk" or all-wood charcoal available. After building your base fire with charcoal, you'll want to add wood logs or chunks (chips in small grills) for seasoning. I use mesquite, and find that the combination of hickory's traditional bitter smokiness combines well with the inherent sweetness of mequite. together they also produce a beautiful reddish golden brown meat - an extra plus for presentation.
Here's where individual taste really comes into play. The one absolute rule I'll make is NEVER, EVER USE A TOMATO BASED SAUCE IN THE GRILL!!! If you want to insult perfectly good meat by slopping some seasoned ketchup on your ribs or sandwich after it comes off the fire, well, its a free country. But tomato based sauces will burn in the grill and the bitter taste will sing into the meat.
There are three regional standards that I wholeheartedly endorse: vinegar based basting sauces, mustard based basting sauce, and dry rub. I used to cook with a South Carolinian who used a mustard based sauce and it was wonderful, once you got past the green color of the finished product. I never mastered that particular style, so I'll leave it for someone from that part of the country to to speak up.
In the Bootheel, I grew up on vinegar based sauces. Although I frequently make my own, I'd recommend getting a bottle of Wicker's Original BBQ sauce to get the idea straight. Wicker's sets the standard for vinegar based sauces, and has never failed me. In fact, at many BBQ contests, you'll find that a surprising number of the "home-made" sauces came out of a Wicker's bottle, with seasonings added to fine tune the sauce to a particular taste. This technique is wholeheartedly endorsed.
When I began to cook competitively, I noticed other chefs using a "dry rub" on the meat and avoiding a baste altogether. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, this technique produces far and away the juiciest, most flavorful BBQ. There are two commercial products that effectively define the taste. Tony Chachare's Creole Seasoning and Cajun Country BBQ seasoning (in a green plastic envelope with an alligator. Don't be fooled by some other, similar product). Tony's is primarily salt and red pepper based, and also makes a good all around seasong and substitute for plain salt and pepper. Cajun Country is sage based, with a liberal dose of red pepper, salt, and garlic. My own seasoning is similar to Cajun Country, with more emphasis on the garlic and red pepper.
Start the grill.
If you're using a vinegar based marinade, start marinating 1 to 6 hours before cooking. Remember that chicken, ribs, and game will soak up more marinade than a pork shoulder, so be careful not to over marinate. Some chefs use a syringe to inject pork shoulders and hams with the sauce. This is an excellent method for getting the taste well into the piece of meat.
If you're using a dry rub, simply rub the exterior of the meat with the seasoning, taking care to work the spice into the skin. This can be done directly on the grill in a pinch.
Pork Shoulders should cook for 12 to 18 hours. Place the shoulders well away from the fire and maintain the temperature at a cool, smoky 150-180 degrees farenheit. If you are using a vinegar based sauce, baste every hour. If you are using a dry rub, baste with lemon juice twice during cooking.
After 10 hours, wrap each shoulder in tin foil. Seal well. Check with a meat thermometer. The internal temperature should be approaching 140. Leave in the foil until 15 minutes before serving. Unwrap the shoulder and place directly over the fire for 15 minutes to burn off excess grease on the surface and "firm up." Ideal internal serving temperature should be between 160 and 170.
Chicken should cook 4 hours. Increase the temperature to the 180 to 200 range, and leave the chicken unwrapped for 3 hours. Wrap in foil for the final hour and check with a thermometer to insure an internal temperature of 180. Unwrap and place directly over fire for the final 10 minutes.
Ribs Should cook 4 to 6 hours at 200 to 225. Follow the same basic procedure as above, with the exception that ribs need a more direct heat during the cooking period. No need to check with a thermometer, just pull off an end rib and look at the color. If the side of ribs falls apart when you pick it up, thats a good sign.
You don't really need me to tell you what to do next, or what that beer was for, do you?